She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick