1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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