I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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