Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
