I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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