i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
