I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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