day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
