just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
