There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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