Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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