Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
