She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
