Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
