I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
