that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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