they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
