The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Someone came in the potted fern
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
