Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
