i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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