It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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