Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
