So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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