Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
