and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
