tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize