I need help removing her.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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