So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
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I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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