She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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