And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
