I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
