Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
