great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
