You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
