So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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