How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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