we have pet lesbian snakes
Farmville is her only friend.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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