i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
