After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
