Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
