Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
