I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
