He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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