Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
