walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
