we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
one might say we're banned from that church
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
