Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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