Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
