So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize