no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
