You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
