Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
this will be a night to untag.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
