she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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