so let's talk penis.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
