He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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