3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
