Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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