Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
