Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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