you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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