Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
