Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
