its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
