Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
