I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
